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Healthy: Self-assured, energetic,
and competent with high self-esteem: they
believe in themselves and their own value.
Adaptable, desirable, charming, and
gracious. / Ambitious to improve themselves,
to be "the best they can be" —
often become outstanding, a human ideal,
embodying widely admired cultural qualities.
Highly effective: others are motivated to be
like them in some positive way.
At Their Best: Self-accepting,
inner-directed, and authentic, everything
they seem to be. Modest and charitable,
self-deprecatory humour and a fullness of
heart emerge. Gentle and benevolent.
Average: Highly concerned with
their performance, doing their job well,
constantly driving self to achieve goals as
if self-worth depends on it. Terrified of
failure. Compare self with others in search
for status and success. Become careerists,
social climbers, invested in exclusivity and
being the "best." / Become
image-conscious, highly concerned with how
they are perceived. Begin to package
themselves according to the expectations of
others and what they need to do to be
successful. Pragmatic and efficient, but
also premeditated, losing touch with their
own feelings beneath a smooth facade.
Problems with intimacy, credibility, and
"phoniness" emerge. / Want to
impress others with their superiority:
constantly promoting themselves, making
themselves sound better than they really
are. Narcissistic, with grandiose, inflated
notions about themselves and their talents.
Exhibitionistic and seductive, as if saying
"Look at me!" Arrogance and
contempt for others is a defence against
feeling jealous of others and their success.
Unhealthy: Fearing failure and
humiliation, they can be exploitative and
opportunistic, covetous of the success of
others, and willing to do "whatever it
takes" to preserve the illusion of
their superiority. / Devious and deceptive
so that their mistakes and wrongdoings will
not be exposed. Untrustworthy, maliciously
betraying or sabotaging people to triumph
over them. Delusionally jealous of others /
Become vindictive, attempting to ruin
others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive
about destroying whatever reminds them of
their own shortcomings and failures.
Psychopathic, murder.
Key Motivations: Want to be
affirmed, to distinguish themselves from
others, to have attention, to be admired,
and to impress others.
Examples: Bill Clinton, Oprah
Winfrey, Jane Pauley, Michael Landon, Tony
Robbins, Tom Cruise, Barbra Streisand,
Sharon Stone, Madonna, Shirley MacLaine,
Sting, Paul McCartney, Dick Clark, Whitney
Houston, Ted Danson, Micheal Jordan, Shania
Twain, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold
Schwarznegger, Billy Dee Williams, Kathy Lee
Gifford, Truman Capote, and O.J. Simpson.
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